Waiting for people to fuck up so you can cancel them, gatekeeping, communities self-policing to the point of self-destruction, debating each other’s validity, communities infighting over terminology, fighting over the Best way to exist, trying to define what a Bad Community Member is/does, vilifying those people.
Besties I think we fucked up and internalized the surveillance state or the omni-present judgment of god or purity culture or perhaps just maybe all 3
obsessed where stories where it is like. the mistakes are unfixable and the worst thing that could happen happened and nothing can go back to how it was. but there was still love in this and love will continue after this and love endures always.
I remember reading a study once that asked people in their 90s to rank the best to worst decades of their life, and the overwhelming majority were like “my 70s were the best” and ranked their teens and twenties as near the worst, and I think about that a lot when people act like if they’re not living their best life at 25 they’ve lost their chance. like nah, the longer you’ve had to learn about yourself, the more you can love yourself. there’s no expiration date on joy until you’re dead
